Are you looking to be happy or happier? To be in charge of what you spend time thinking about? To be consistently happy, not sad, or depressed. Do you want to not care about what others think of you? You can have all of that. We’re going to talk about a poised life with mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of living in the now. Not in the past or future. And with poise, it allows you to be yourself and live in joy. It’s a lifestyle. To be poise is to be graceful, elegant, and in the moment. You can’t be that if you’re not in the moment and aware of your surroundings.
Our feelings and experiences dictate our emotions. Life events can trigger our stress response. To not feel pain, we must observe and not judge. To be in control, we need to let go of control. The next time something happens, and you feel something, here is what you do.
Step 1: Label the feeling. I’m angry, upset, shocked, confused, unsure, or hurt. Do not reject this emotion. Label it to take away it’s power.
Ask yourself 1) What is the thought, I am having? 2) What do I see? 3) What do I smell? 4) What do I feel physically?
These questions will ground you in the moment.
Step 2: Observe the thought that is triggering your emotion and/or physical response. Do not judge. Just observe, as if you are outside of yourself. You’ll notice that once you observe, you take AWAY the power of that thought. Participate in the current moment. If it’s hard to do so then ask yourself, what’s going on? And then observe and participate. Do what is needed in each situation. Be one with the moment, and lose yourself in the current activity.
Step 3: Set a time to ask yourself the right questions. Do not try and figure things out in the current moment.
What do I want? How do I get what I want?
Conclusion
To have control, we must let go of control. We can learn to observe and not give all thoughts meaning. When we do not identify with our thoughts, we will be free from them. And then we can focus on the thoughts that will bring us happiness and joy. It’s your choice. Do you want to spend time on negative thoughts that add no value to your life? Or do you want to control what has meaning in your life? To recap, allow yourself to accept the situation, identify what you’re feeling, observe the thought, and carry on.